Creative Co-Regulation
Creative Co-Regulation
Creativity thrives when you're with "your people"
I’ve been sharing about the journey of expanding your creative capacity. So far, we’ve:
Explored the sweet spot of your creative window of tolerance
Learned how to expand your window through creative titration
Cultivated the ability to pause and regulate using internal awareness
Today, we go beyond you as an individual creative person. We add the others.
For many of us, creativity is a solo endeavor. We write, paint, and draw alone, and for professional creators or entrepreneurs, we create businesses alone.
Although we dance with our muse in the quiet recesses of our minds and hearts and fan the flames of inspiration through our internal enthusiasm, creativity needs other people at some point in the game.
Not buyers or readers but peers that are walking the path with you. I’d argue that creative peers are more essential than buyers, readers, and followers, at least when recovering and expanding your creative capacity.
Like nature, we create in reciprocity with our surrounding environment—drawing inspiration, feedback, and energy from those around us. While solitude is essential for nurturing the initial sparks, community is what helps those ideas take root and grow into something larger than ourselves.
This is where creative co-regulation comes into play.
What is Creative Co-Regulation
Co-regulation is a concept from psychology. It refers to the way our nervous systems respond and regulate in connection with others. If you’ve ever felt better after hugging or cuddling with someone, that is co-regulation at play. My husband, a nervous system educator, theorizes that upward of 80% of good therapy is due to co-regulation.
Within creativity, co-regulation is the idea that creating alongside others gives you greater capacity.
Creative co-regulation helps you navigate challenges, feel more inspired and motivated, and expand your capacity by sharing the emotional, motivational, or creative load.
It does not mean that you are necessarily creating with other people. You may still be working on your solo endeavor, but you do not feel alone; you feel a sense of belonging to a group larger than yourself. When we do so, our nervous systems sync together to support us in moving through creative tension with more ease.
Creative co-regulation can look like many things; here are some ideas:
Creating within a group or community container
Having an active text thread with other creatives
Having consistent calls or in-person meetups with a group of creative friends
Working with a creativity coach or having an explicit mentor
Meeting creative people regularly at retreats or workshops
Co-creating something with at least one other person
How I’ve Applied This
Medium-Sized Community Threads
I’m part of several private text groups for creative communities. These include groups for authors, online creators, coaches, and spirituality-driven entrepreneurs, ranging from 25 to 150 people. The smaller groups of 25-35 people consist of folks I’ve met during in-person retreats, so we know each other pretty well and support one another's creative
Intimate & Curated Group Chats
For greater depth, I’m involved in smaller groups of 3-7 people where we champion each other more personally. In these spaces, we share our manuscripts for feedback, ask more vulnerable questions, discuss struggles, and enthusiastically celebrate each other’s successes. This is the type of group that helped me write and publish my book in 5 days— the 'three wise men' who challenged me to do it were there every step along the way with their encouragement, feedback, and support.
The Artist’s Way Groups
In the past, I helped create three groups for The Artist’s Way, each with 2-6 women. For 12 weeks, we met weekly and stayed connected through a WhatsApp thread. This level of commitment worked wonders and helped us cultivate really deep friendships. It's the only way I’d recommend going through TAW.
In-Person Retreats
Recently, I’ve made in-person retreats a key part of my ‘creative support stack.’ I’ve attended three long weekend retreats (3-5 days) with people from my larger groups. These retreats are non-profit and co-created by all participants, making them feel more like community-led initiatives rather than traditional paid retreats. These consistent gatherings help keep me grounded and focused on my creative journey.
Inner & Outer Benefits
Being a part of creative communities has made a world of difference in my life. Truthfully, I wouldn't be anywhere near where I am on my journey if it weren't for others. Here are some of the benefits I've received:
I know I’m not alone in my creative aspirations
There are people who really “get me”
My weird, ambitious, and creative ideas are celebrated
I know who to turn to when I encounter an obstacle
My ideas can be masterminded by talented, passionate people whom I respect
Out of all of these, the biggest benefit has really been knowing that I’m not alone. Since my ‘core creative wounds’ (from childhood) center around feeling alone, ostracized and judged for my creativity, this sense of belonging is medicine. Having these people in my corner has made the difference between creating and not creating.
Many of the people who’ve joined my challenges and creativity containers have also shared this sentiment. One writer from the recent 30-Day Book Writing Challenge said, “Without the community, I would never have made it this far.”
No matter how successful we are at being autonomous, independent humans, we will always need other people around us, especially in the areas that consistently bring us into the unknown, like creativity.
But what makes creative co-regulation genuinely effective? Here are five factors I’ve found to be important:
The Ingredients
Trust and Psychological Safety
A creative community must feel safe, supportive, and non-judgmental. Trust is the foundation that allows you to share your vulnerabilities and receive feedback without fear, which in turn helps your creativity thrive.Consistent Connection
Regular interaction with your creative peers—whether through group calls, retreats, or even a text thread—creates reliability. This consistency helps you build momentum and fosters a sense of belonging, knowing you have ongoing support.Open and Honest Feedback
Constructive, caring feedback allows for growth and fresh perspectives. Receiving feedback from those who understand your creative challenges helps break through blocks and sparks new ideas.Shared Vision and Mutual Support
A community of creators who share similar goals and values brings powerful synergy. Mutual encouragement, celebrating wins, and offering support during creative struggles boost everyone’s capacity and motivation.Celebration, Enthusiasm & Stoke
At the heart of a thriving creative community is enthusiasm—a place where your wins are celebrated and where you feel loved and appreciated for your unique contributions. When there is an atmosphere of stoke, you’ll all feel energized to take risks and continue expanding.
Creativity is an inherently vulnerable and personal experience. You only want to let those you trust and feel comfortable with into your inner circles—ideally, people in a similar stage of creative development as you and some that are further along. You want to feel at ease with them while also a healthy dose of inspiration, mentorship and motivation.
Build Your Creative Community
You might wonder, "How do I start building this network?" Creating a supportive, creative community doesn’t happen overnight, but with some intentional effort, you can cultivate relationships that will nurture your creativity for years.
Whether you’re an introvert who thrives in small, intimate groups or an extrovert who loves diving into larger communities, there are plenty of ways to build connections that feel authentic and aligned with your creative path.
Here are some practical steps you can take right now:
Identify Potential Creative Peers
Look within your current circles: Think about friends (in person or online), peers, and colleagues who share your creative passions.
Attend local creative events, workshops, or meetups. Being in the room with other creators often sparks the connections you didn’t even know you needed.
Join online communities or forums dedicated to your creative discipline.
Consider reaching out to creators you admire on social media. A genuine message can go a long way in building a new relationship.
Initiate Creative Relationships
Start by offering genuine compliments or thoughtful comments on someone’s work. People love it when their efforts are seen and appreciated.
Share your creative journey, challenges, or wins to invite discussion and mutual understanding.
Propose a coffee date or video call to dive deeper into your creative pursuits and explore potential synergies.
Suggest collaborating on a small project or offering feedback on each other’s current work—it’s a great way to connect on a deeper level.
Maintain and Nurture Creative Connections
Set up regular check-ins or creativity sessions, whether in person or virtually.
Create a shared digital space (like a group chat or Slack channel) where ongoing discussions, idea exchanges, and support can happen naturally.
Stay consistent with communication and follow through on what you commit to.
Celebrate each other’s wins, no matter how small. Those moments are fuel for the creative journey.
Be there when creative blocks or challenges arise—sometimes, a little outside perspective is all it takes to get unstuck.
Join or Create a Creative Community
Research existing creative groups in your area or online platforms that align with your interests.
If you join an existing group, show up and participate! Whether you attend events or engage in discussions, being an active part of the community is key.
Start your own group! But start small. A core group of 3-5 people can be perfect for intimate connection and growth. Define your group’s purpose and guidelines, set a regular meeting schedule, and balance structured activities (like feedback sessions) with informal hangouts.
Expand Your Network Gradually
Once you’re comfortable, start expanding your creative circle. Attend larger creative events or conferences to meet more peers.
Think about cross-pollinating with creators from different but related disciplines—sometimes, the most exciting ideas come from unlikely collaborations.
Final Thoughts
Building a solid creative co-regulation network takes time and effort, so be patient with yourself and the process. These connections don’t happen overnight, but they will grow into something powerful with consistency and care (just like any other relationship in your life). The goal is to create a supportive environment where you and your peers feel safe sharing, experimenting, and growing together.
As someone who used to pride herself on being fiercely independent (and could never seem to get a single creative project off the ground), trust me when I say that creative friends, mentors, and communities are life-changing.
Now, over to you—what insights have you gained about the intersection of creativity and community? Comment below to start a dialogue.
Until next time…
Wildly 💛
~ Kelly